I really, really, really love Diet Coke. It's cool, refreshing and everything that the Coke marketing department would like you to believe. It's perfect on a hot day, on a cold day, with popcorn at a movie, with nachos at a hockey game, watching tv at night...the list goes on. It makes me smile. Friends make fun of me (although many of you can relate) and my mom blames every ailment on the obsession (A cold? It's because you drink too much diet coke...A sore throat? It's because you drink to much diet coke...A pulled muscle? It's probably the diet coke). Still, I persist - I love the stuff.
Sadly, though, everything that is truly great has a flaw and I've recently discovered the fatal flaw with Diet Coke - the packaging. 3 times in the last month or so, I have fallen victim of the false promises of faulty Diet Coke packaging. Admittedly, my first experience was partly my own fault. While shopping at the DC Giant about 5 blocks from my apartment, I was tempted by an amazing deal on a 24 pack of diet coke. Normally a 12-pack kind of girl, I knew it would be harder to transport home with 3 other bags of groceries but the savings was truly unbelievable and I simply couldn't turn down the deal. The check out girl knew better "Did you walk here? Wow, you must REALLY like diet coke. Good luck getting that home". Whatever, it's only 5 blocks and the pack has the cool little handle thing...I practice yoga...I'm stronger than I look dammit! Predictably, approximately 1/2 block later (and directly in front of the newest, trendiest little cafe in the neighborhood) the cardboard packaging gave out and 24 cans of diet coke went rolling in every direction (well, 24 cans minus the 2 that burst open upon impact with the sidewalk). After a good laugh, a couple of nice guys helped me collect the cans and one man even ventured into 14th Street to rescue two cans who clearly had a death wish. The gesture was extremely kind but slightly insane seeing as how 14th Street is a fairly busy street and they were, after all, just cans of diet coke. With 4 1/2 blocks to go, I somehow managed to find space in my other shopping bags, purse, and pockets for the 22 leftover cans. Oh well, it provided some entertainment for the handful of people on the sidewalk and the cooler-than-cool young professionals in the trendy restaurant who had a clear view of the incident.
You would think I would learn from that experience....but no. A couple of weeks later diet coke was on sale again. This time it was the 12-packs which, for some reason, seemed much safer. Plus, I was at a different Giant and had my car this time. I had come to peace with the previous incident, deciding it had all come about as the result of my being greedy and trying to take on more than I could handle. This time was completely different because I was keeping it simple. I confidently picked up the 12-pack and continued to make my way through the weekly grocery list. Then, in the middle of the cereal aisle, it happened again. It's kind of a blur but one minute I was trying to decide between Raisin Bran and Fruit Loops and the next minute 11 Diet Coke cans were rolling down the aisle, the 12th was fizzing all over the place and I was standing there holding onto a flimsy piece of cardboard packaging with a look of confusion on my face. Fortunately, the only other people in the aisle were a mother and her son (who was probably 8 or 9). The kid thought it was funny and the mom looked at me with a sadness in her eyes that makes me believe she must love diet coke too.
The third incident came just last evening in Arlington when diet coke was again on special (5 12-packs for $10 - a fabulous deal!). While tempted to buy more than one (the power of advertising - let's word it 5 for $10 instead of 1 for $2), my recent experiences have changed me and I'm no longer the trusting, open-minded, happy-go- lucky coke buyer I used to be...I'm cynical and questioning. This time I waited until the end of my shopping trip to pick up the Diet Coke and I cautiously inspected 4 or 5 different 12-packs to find the one that looked the safest. I wasn't going to fall for the whole "punch out handle" this time, oh no. I held the chosen 12-pack firmly with both hands, way more attentive to the Diet Coke than the bananas at the bottom of my basket. My caution paid off and I made it to the car without incident. The 20 minute drive home from Arlington was pretty uneventful, with the exception of a sudden stop due to some unexpected traffic hidden behind a turn on Rock Creek Parkway. I didn't think much of that stop until I retrieved the groceries from my car and was shocked to find diet coke cans all over the floor of the backseat. Apparently my driving was too intense for a 12-pack and the impact of a sudden stop was enough to throw it from the backseat onto the floor and shock it into falling apart.
I give up. From now on I'm just going to take a special bag on my grocery shopping trips to be used exclusively for the collection of diet coke cans following the ineviteable collaps of their easy to use container. What's that you say? Maybe I should just stop buying cans of Diet Coke? Yeah right. :)
Sadly, though, everything that is truly great has a flaw and I've recently discovered the fatal flaw with Diet Coke - the packaging. 3 times in the last month or so, I have fallen victim of the false promises of faulty Diet Coke packaging. Admittedly, my first experience was partly my own fault. While shopping at the DC Giant about 5 blocks from my apartment, I was tempted by an amazing deal on a 24 pack of diet coke. Normally a 12-pack kind of girl, I knew it would be harder to transport home with 3 other bags of groceries but the savings was truly unbelievable and I simply couldn't turn down the deal. The check out girl knew better "Did you walk here? Wow, you must REALLY like diet coke. Good luck getting that home". Whatever, it's only 5 blocks and the pack has the cool little handle thing...I practice yoga...I'm stronger than I look dammit! Predictably, approximately 1/2 block later (and directly in front of the newest, trendiest little cafe in the neighborhood) the cardboard packaging gave out and 24 cans of diet coke went rolling in every direction (well, 24 cans minus the 2 that burst open upon impact with the sidewalk). After a good laugh, a couple of nice guys helped me collect the cans and one man even ventured into 14th Street to rescue two cans who clearly had a death wish. The gesture was extremely kind but slightly insane seeing as how 14th Street is a fairly busy street and they were, after all, just cans of diet coke. With 4 1/2 blocks to go, I somehow managed to find space in my other shopping bags, purse, and pockets for the 22 leftover cans. Oh well, it provided some entertainment for the handful of people on the sidewalk and the cooler-than-cool young professionals in the trendy restaurant who had a clear view of the incident.
You would think I would learn from that experience....but no. A couple of weeks later diet coke was on sale again. This time it was the 12-packs which, for some reason, seemed much safer. Plus, I was at a different Giant and had my car this time. I had come to peace with the previous incident, deciding it had all come about as the result of my being greedy and trying to take on more than I could handle. This time was completely different because I was keeping it simple. I confidently picked up the 12-pack and continued to make my way through the weekly grocery list. Then, in the middle of the cereal aisle, it happened again. It's kind of a blur but one minute I was trying to decide between Raisin Bran and Fruit Loops and the next minute 11 Diet Coke cans were rolling down the aisle, the 12th was fizzing all over the place and I was standing there holding onto a flimsy piece of cardboard packaging with a look of confusion on my face. Fortunately, the only other people in the aisle were a mother and her son (who was probably 8 or 9). The kid thought it was funny and the mom looked at me with a sadness in her eyes that makes me believe she must love diet coke too.
The third incident came just last evening in Arlington when diet coke was again on special (5 12-packs for $10 - a fabulous deal!). While tempted to buy more than one (the power of advertising - let's word it 5 for $10 instead of 1 for $2), my recent experiences have changed me and I'm no longer the trusting, open-minded, happy-go- lucky coke buyer I used to be...I'm cynical and questioning. This time I waited until the end of my shopping trip to pick up the Diet Coke and I cautiously inspected 4 or 5 different 12-packs to find the one that looked the safest. I wasn't going to fall for the whole "punch out handle" this time, oh no. I held the chosen 12-pack firmly with both hands, way more attentive to the Diet Coke than the bananas at the bottom of my basket. My caution paid off and I made it to the car without incident. The 20 minute drive home from Arlington was pretty uneventful, with the exception of a sudden stop due to some unexpected traffic hidden behind a turn on Rock Creek Parkway. I didn't think much of that stop until I retrieved the groceries from my car and was shocked to find diet coke cans all over the floor of the backseat. Apparently my driving was too intense for a 12-pack and the impact of a sudden stop was enough to throw it from the backseat onto the floor and shock it into falling apart.
I give up. From now on I'm just going to take a special bag on my grocery shopping trips to be used exclusively for the collection of diet coke cans following the ineviteable collaps of their easy to use container. What's that you say? Maybe I should just stop buying cans of Diet Coke? Yeah right. :)
Comments
Post a Comment