Rule Breaker Faith...a slightly controversial grocery shopping story (2/1/24)

I'm a rule follower - a rule follower through and through. The concept of even stretching rules makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Oh my gosh, I'm starting to sweat even writing about the possibility of breaking rules. Seriously, I'm nauseous. 

I wait until the walk symbol to come up, even if no cars are in the vicinity of the area.
I don't use restrooms at restaurants or gas stations where I haven't purchased anything.
I always use my turn signal. 
I don't drive faster than the speed limit (I mean...much).  

Have I made myself really clear? Like totally clear?  I need you to see how important it is for me to follow rules. I need you to understand that the story I am about to tell you is not me (even though it was, in actuality, completely me). 

On a recent Saturday I walked into my favorite Giant (a grocery store, for anybody who lives in Kroger or Publix territories). I've recently gotten into the habit of trying to pack all of my weekend chores into Saturdays so Sundays can be a bit more laid back. On this particular Saturday, I was trying to do a 3 hour indoor bike ride, lap swim, house cleaning, closet-under-the-stairs-that-we-never-clean-out cleaning, and weekly grocery shopping.  Not having kiddos or kiddo weekend activities, this  lineup isn't impossible. It can be done. It does, however, require getting up early, not dilly-dallying, and staying on top of hydration and sustenance.  On this particular day I had not done well with the hydration/sustenance and by the time I got to the last item on the list (grocery shopping) I was cranky and had a dehydration headache that I just couldn't shake. 

So, back to the beginning, having made it through my list of chores, I walked into Giant (armed with a headache and less than stellar attitude) to buy some f*&3ing groceries.

Ok, this is where it gets controversial.  I know that people have big feelings about this.  I respect the need for actual people check-outs at stores. I truly do.  I, however, am a serious introvert and prefer, when given the option, to avoid any and all human interaction and use the self-checkout.  I know...I get it...I'm sorry...I'm just really awkward in those situations (you know, situations with actual people).  

If I haven't already lost your sympathy, this next part may do it:  I like to use the self-checkout even when I have quite a few items (like an entire week's worth of items).  

I know, I know...the worst.

While I understand that people find this (using self check-out for a lot of items) really rude and doing it always made me a little self-conscious, there weren't any rules against it.  I wasn't actually doing anything wrong....until I was.   

Due to an increase in thefts, several months ago our Giant instituted a 20 item or less rule for the self-checkouts and broke my poor rule-following heart. 

It hasn't been easy, but I've been able to make it work. A lot of weeks I can get by with fewer than 20 items, and can confidently walk to the self- checkout knowing that I'm following the rules.  A couple times it required putting back an item or two that I shouldn't be getting in the first place (ex: a slice of cake from the bakery that I'm totally capable of baking myself). Once or twice I've checked out with 20 items, taken them to my car,  and gone back in to get 3 more. And, of course, on the weeks that there's no way around it, I just wait in the regular line and force myself into being an extroverted introvert.

On this Saturday, however, I had a headache, no patience, and a very necessary 24 items in my cart. There were 3 checkouts open and there were lines at each of them.  I stood in one of those lines for a bit, but things were moving really slowly and I couldn't help but glance over at the self-checkout area, willfully avoiding reading the sign that I knew said "20 items or less".  It was virtually empty. 

No, Faith, no. 
Don't do it.
Do the right thing.
Follow the rules.
Don't go over...Faith!

And just like that: there I was with my headache, and my grumpiness,  and my cart of 24 items standing in front of one of the self-checkouts.  I breezed past the sign that might have (definitely) said "20 items or less." It's like another Faith took over.  

Just call me rule breaker Faith.

It was all going really well (I was totally getting away with it) until I scanned the third item (a yogurt) and there was a weight discrepancy requiring assistance.  I tried to back out and re-scan, but the light was already blinking and the associate came over. He was very nice. I don't think he noticed that I was over the item limit. 

Fourth item - weight discrepancy requiring assistance - light blinking - associate has to come back. 

Seventh item - weight discrepancy requiring assistance - light blinking - associate has to come back. 

 He had to come back 3 more times. He always checked all of my items, so it wasn't a scanning issue. I wasn't stealing anything.  I think the machine just sensed that I was over the item limit and wanted to make the whole thing as painful for the rule breaker as possible.

The 6th time he was helping somebody else and another associate had to help me.  She was also very nice, but she for sure counted my items and looked very disappointed in my behavior.

Did I mention that at this point the previously desolate self-checkout area was now booming, so there was a line of people watching me, all counting my items and thinking I'm a huge inconsiderate jerk who doesn't read signs?  

In my haste to just get through the whole thing, I dropped a scanned can of beans on my foot, which then went rolling across the aisle and into another self-check-outers area.  I just wanted to leave it, but I had already scanned it and I didn't want to cause even more weight issues with the machine, so I had to run over and get it.  I still have a bruise on the top of my foot (which I deserve).  

To top it all off, I didn't bring in cloth bags and had to use plastic, so not only am I a rule-breaker but I'm taking the environment down with me. 

As I walked out, I thanked the associates profusely for their help and apologized for being such a problem shopper. They smiled, but I knew what they were thinking.  I knew.

I have not been back to that Giant (my favorite Giant), and I may never be able to show my face there again. 

That, my friends, is why you should always follow the rules.