One morning I woke up judgy.
Really judgy.
I know what you are saying– “Come on, Faith, everyone is judgmental sometimes, it’s not that big a deal”
See, I don’t think you totally understand.
I’m not talking about regular, every day, run-of-the mill judgy – the kind of judgy where you say things like, “What exactly does the Kardashian family contribute to the world anyway?” or develop a strong opinion about your neighbor based solely on whether or not they recycle.
While not healthy, not helpful, and not very nice, everyday judgy is fairly common and mostly acceptable…as long as you don’t let it get out of control and you keep your thoughts to yourself.
What I’m talking about is different – it’s bigger, it’s harsher, it’s even more holier-than-thou.
Seriously, I’m talking about some next level judgment.
I’m not sure where it came from or why it hit me that particular day. There was no logical explanation for such a high level of judgment, but, from the minute I opened my eyes, it was on (on like donkey kong…judgy donkey kong).
My alarm sounded at 5 am and I immediately judged everyone who was still asleep for not being awake like me.
Our cat was up too and was being incredibly pushy about being fed – yes, I actually judged a cat for being pushy.
I judged the people who were already in the fitness room for getting up so ridiculously early to work out, and I judged the people who came in after me for not getting there earlier.
While on the treadmill I watched the morning news - during the traffic report I judged all of the people who drove to work (I walk…of course, I also live less than a block from work) and during the weather report I judged the weatherperson for never being right.
Oh, and the girl in the fitness center who was talking loudly on her cell phone while on the elliptical? You’d better believe I judged her (both for the conversation she was having and for the fact that I could hear it).
Stepping into the elevator in my apartment building, I immediately noticed that one of the women was not dressed appropriately for work and another spent the whole elevator ride staring at her reflection.
Then, when the elevator stopped, the sole man in our group didn’t let the rest of us (all women) exit the elevator first, which is soooo not gentlemanly.
It wasn’t even 8 am yet and I had already decided that I was overall a fundamentally better person than everyone I had, or would, encounter that day (and maybe the next).
The day continued in this manner. My judginess was like an out of control MAC truck of judgment careening down a highway and plowing over every helpless victim in its path.
Friends, strangers, celebrities, coworkers, pets, online, offline…nobody was safe. I could have judged Mother Teresa (and may have at some point during the day).
That night, exhausted from a whole day of being superior to everyone else, I walked through the lobby of my apartment building and overheard two girls talking. They were chatting about a friend who was “just so judgmental”.
My immediate thought was that it was just like girls “like that” to be judgmental…about somebody…for being judgmental.
And, right there in an apartment building lobby, I found myself in a judgment wormhole, as multiple judgments started cancelling each other out, leading me to question the one thing I had been most sure of the whole day: my right-ness.
If the girls in the lobby were worthy of my judgement (ie: bad) for judging somebody else, then was I bad for judging them?
But, then again, the girl they were judging was judgmental (ie: bad) too, so maybe they weren’t so much bad as just right.
But, what does that make me – right or bad?
Now I was exhausted, confused and felt a little gross.
Fortunately for him, my significant other was out of town and the only other inhabitant of our apartment was the aforementioned cat who doesn’t give a hoot about my opinion of her.
Confident that a good dinner and a good night’s sleep would allow the judginess to pass, I just needed to find a way to get through the evening without hurting feelings or destroying every last one of my treasured relationships.
Phone calls were out.
Texting was out.
Facebook was definitely, 100%, without question out.
Fortunately, I did have one place to go.
There is one place where judginess is fostered, encouraged, and, more importantly, where there is no question of who is judged (them) and who gets to do the judging (me).
It is here where a person hopelessly overcome with judginess can find refuge until their symptoms pass and they can re-enter society.
Thank God we live in the time of Bravo and the Real Housewives franchise.
Really judgy.
I know what you are saying– “Come on, Faith, everyone is judgmental sometimes, it’s not that big a deal”
See, I don’t think you totally understand.
I’m not talking about regular, every day, run-of-the mill judgy – the kind of judgy where you say things like, “What exactly does the Kardashian family contribute to the world anyway?” or develop a strong opinion about your neighbor based solely on whether or not they recycle.
While not healthy, not helpful, and not very nice, everyday judgy is fairly common and mostly acceptable…as long as you don’t let it get out of control and you keep your thoughts to yourself.
What I’m talking about is different – it’s bigger, it’s harsher, it’s even more holier-than-thou.
Seriously, I’m talking about some next level judgment.
I’m not sure where it came from or why it hit me that particular day. There was no logical explanation for such a high level of judgment, but, from the minute I opened my eyes, it was on (on like donkey kong…judgy donkey kong).
My alarm sounded at 5 am and I immediately judged everyone who was still asleep for not being awake like me.
Our cat was up too and was being incredibly pushy about being fed – yes, I actually judged a cat for being pushy.
I judged the people who were already in the fitness room for getting up so ridiculously early to work out, and I judged the people who came in after me for not getting there earlier.
While on the treadmill I watched the morning news - during the traffic report I judged all of the people who drove to work (I walk…of course, I also live less than a block from work) and during the weather report I judged the weatherperson for never being right.
Oh, and the girl in the fitness center who was talking loudly on her cell phone while on the elliptical? You’d better believe I judged her (both for the conversation she was having and for the fact that I could hear it).
Stepping into the elevator in my apartment building, I immediately noticed that one of the women was not dressed appropriately for work and another spent the whole elevator ride staring at her reflection.
Then, when the elevator stopped, the sole man in our group didn’t let the rest of us (all women) exit the elevator first, which is soooo not gentlemanly.
It wasn’t even 8 am yet and I had already decided that I was overall a fundamentally better person than everyone I had, or would, encounter that day (and maybe the next).
The day continued in this manner. My judginess was like an out of control MAC truck of judgment careening down a highway and plowing over every helpless victim in its path.
Friends, strangers, celebrities, coworkers, pets, online, offline…nobody was safe. I could have judged Mother Teresa (and may have at some point during the day).
That night, exhausted from a whole day of being superior to everyone else, I walked through the lobby of my apartment building and overheard two girls talking. They were chatting about a friend who was “just so judgmental”.
My immediate thought was that it was just like girls “like that” to be judgmental…about somebody…for being judgmental.
And, right there in an apartment building lobby, I found myself in a judgment wormhole, as multiple judgments started cancelling each other out, leading me to question the one thing I had been most sure of the whole day: my right-ness.
If the girls in the lobby were worthy of my judgement (ie: bad) for judging somebody else, then was I bad for judging them?
But, then again, the girl they were judging was judgmental (ie: bad) too, so maybe they weren’t so much bad as just right.
But, what does that make me – right or bad?
Now I was exhausted, confused and felt a little gross.
Fortunately for him, my significant other was out of town and the only other inhabitant of our apartment was the aforementioned cat who doesn’t give a hoot about my opinion of her.
Confident that a good dinner and a good night’s sleep would allow the judginess to pass, I just needed to find a way to get through the evening without hurting feelings or destroying every last one of my treasured relationships.
Phone calls were out.
Texting was out.
Facebook was definitely, 100%, without question out.
Fortunately, I did have one place to go.
There is one place where judginess is fostered, encouraged, and, more importantly, where there is no question of who is judged (them) and who gets to do the judging (me).
It is here where a person hopelessly overcome with judginess can find refuge until their symptoms pass and they can re-enter society.
Thank God we live in the time of Bravo and the Real Housewives franchise.
KABAR BAIK !!! KABAR BAIK !!! KABAR BAIK !!!
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