Les Miserables holds (and will always hold) a very special place in my heart – as it does in the hearts of slightly nerdy, musical theater loving children of the late-80s/early 90s everywhere.
A love triangle, a wacky inn keeper and his wife, a huge turning stage, people marching in time with a giant flag, a love triangle, an overall theme of sticking it to “the man”, a love triangle, beautiful melodies that stay in your head for months (or years…ok, decades) at a time,
…and did I mention there is a love triangle?
So, when news of the movie broke, I couldn’t wait to see Les Mis, in all of its glory, on the big screen – the barricade, all of my favorite characters up close (extremely close, as it turns out…holy close ups!), and, of course, Eponine, Marius and Cosette, (and, yes, their love triangle) in full effect.
When the time finally came, I grabbed my guy (don’t feel too bad for him – I sat through “Movie 43”) and we walked up the hill to the Courthouse AMC.
Now, this is not just any movie theater (you can’t see a movie of this cultural magnitude in just any movie theater).
This is a newly renovated theater with:
*reserved seating (you get to pick your seat in advance – brilliant!)
*lay-z-boys for seats (yes, they actually recline…PLUS there is so much space between rows that you don’t have to get up whenever somebody enters or exits the row)
*an automated soda machine with a touchscreen (I’m not completely sure what makes this remarkable other than the fact that anything with a touchscreen is just, by default, really, really cool).
It was the perfect set up – perfect movie, perfect theater, perfect popcorn, perfect guy (contractually obligated to throw that last one in ).
Just to avoid any possibility of having to get out of my lay-z-boy at some point during the following sure-to-be-perfect 2 ½ hours, I decided to run to the restroom quickly.
I hate missing previews so I grabbed the first available restroom stall and (don’t worry, I’m not going into too very much detail here) within about a second (but, unfortunately, not before sitting down) discovered that the toilet seat was….
I don’t even want to say it…
it was…
wet…
very, very wet.
It was not wet because the toilet was one of those especially aggressively flushing toilets that spray water back onto the toilet seat. (I know because I tested that theory by flushing it several different times, wanting this to be true).
It was not wet because the ceiling was leaking . (I know because I surveyed the area extremely carefully, desperately wanting this to be true).
It was not wet because it had just been cleaned (I know based on the status of the rest of the room and the low supply of TP....it would have been AWESOME if this had been true).
No, this was the kind of wet that occurs when somebody hovers high above a toilet seat to go rather than sitting down.
There was also a puddle on the floor, which I had originally thought must be (logically) from somebody’s wet shoes (you know, wet from rain or a spilled drink). It was only after discovering the, um, situation on the toilet seat that I realize that the two were likely linked (and that it wasn’t raining outside and there was no sign of wet on the floor anywhere other than right there…where my feet were…at that very moment).
I don’t know the person who did this and, for all I know, there was a “legitimate” reason, but, I was spiteful and the story of the anonymous Rude Public Restroom Person (RPRP) began to crystallize in my mind.
Let me tell you about RPRP.
RPRP is terrified of the germs of the general public and, due to that fear, does her best to avoid public toilets, which is a very real phobia for which I cannot judge.
On this particular night at the movies, RPRP had spent 2 ½ hours (perhaps seeing either “Lincoln” or “Zero Dark Thirty”) drinking a very large soda (from the incredibly cool touchscreen soda machine), and had no choice but to use a public toilet.
Since this particular situation is basically her worst nightmare, RPRP attempted to use said public toilet without coming into any contact with the actual toilet at all, which, admittedly, isn’t easy.
RPRP made a mess..but, more tellingly, RPRP also didn’t care, and didn’t even attempt to clean it up because that would require contact with the public toilet (which was now, by the way, 10000000000000 times germier than it was before)
RPRP walked away – without an ounce of guilt for what was left behind or for how it might affect the next person to come along.
Admittedly, had the next person to come along not been me, I probably wouldn’t have cared so much...but, you know, it was me.
Aaanndd…
I couldn’t stop myself.
While I was at it, and while I was still annoyed, I went ahead and put together a complete profile of RPRL: attitude, age, appearance, and approximately 10,000 other completely biased generalizations.
I won’t go into too much detail but, basically, RPRP is a compilation of the worst characteristics of every rude, self-centered, mean spirited, overly entitled person I have ever met – no redeeming qualities at all – not one – not even ½ of a redeeming quality.
Feeling really gross, and really angry with the irredeemably horrible person I had created in my mind, I did my best to feel better about the situation and walked back to my la-z-boy, more than ready to be whisked away to picturesque early 19th century France (where everything was much more civil…right?) to be lost in inspiration and song.
Well, as it turns out, there are many things about Les Mis that I had somehow missed in the many touring company performances I had seen between 1987 and 1997.
For one thing, early 19th century France wasn’t actually that civil (people sold their teeth for money – just yanked the suckers right out!).
Also, the story includes a number of important lessons: the triumph of the human spirit, love in the face of hate, justice in the face of injustice, and, possibly the greatest overarching theme (worked into pretty much every storyline…other than the love triangle):
forgiveness .
Javert chases Jean Valjean down for 15 years , completely unable to see beyond his past actions and the fact that he violated parole. He chases him to Montreuil-sur-Mer, he chases him to Paris, he chases him through the sewers of Paris (and, maybe it was just a result of my experience prior to the movie, but that sewer scene was a WHOLE lot more realistic* on the big screen).
*realistic = nauseating (perhaps some scenes are better left to stage lighting and the imagination)
And, still, Jean Valjean forgives him.
So, as I come to the end of my blog, I would like to bring everything to a positive conclusion and show you that I have matured since my teenage years. I want to show you that I can now see past the love triangle to the many truths in my favorite musical, and maybe even put those truths into practice in my own life.
After all, If Jean Valjean can forgive Javert for a life of torment, surely, surely (SURELY) I can forgive an anonymous woman who didn’t clean up after herself in an otherwise perfect public restroom in Arlington, Virginia, right?
...right?
…right?
Maybe, eventually, but I think I’m going to need
(and please humor me and sing this last line if you know it)
“One day more”.
A love triangle, a wacky inn keeper and his wife, a huge turning stage, people marching in time with a giant flag, a love triangle, an overall theme of sticking it to “the man”, a love triangle, beautiful melodies that stay in your head for months (or years…ok, decades) at a time,
…and did I mention there is a love triangle?
So, when news of the movie broke, I couldn’t wait to see Les Mis, in all of its glory, on the big screen – the barricade, all of my favorite characters up close (extremely close, as it turns out…holy close ups!), and, of course, Eponine, Marius and Cosette, (and, yes, their love triangle) in full effect.
When the time finally came, I grabbed my guy (don’t feel too bad for him – I sat through “Movie 43”) and we walked up the hill to the Courthouse AMC.
Now, this is not just any movie theater (you can’t see a movie of this cultural magnitude in just any movie theater).
This is a newly renovated theater with:
*reserved seating (you get to pick your seat in advance – brilliant!)
*lay-z-boys for seats (yes, they actually recline…PLUS there is so much space between rows that you don’t have to get up whenever somebody enters or exits the row)
*an automated soda machine with a touchscreen (I’m not completely sure what makes this remarkable other than the fact that anything with a touchscreen is just, by default, really, really cool).
It was the perfect set up – perfect movie, perfect theater, perfect popcorn, perfect guy (contractually obligated to throw that last one in ).
Just to avoid any possibility of having to get out of my lay-z-boy at some point during the following sure-to-be-perfect 2 ½ hours, I decided to run to the restroom quickly.
I hate missing previews so I grabbed the first available restroom stall and (don’t worry, I’m not going into too very much detail here) within about a second (but, unfortunately, not before sitting down) discovered that the toilet seat was….
I don’t even want to say it…
it was…
wet…
very, very wet.
It was not wet because the toilet was one of those especially aggressively flushing toilets that spray water back onto the toilet seat. (I know because I tested that theory by flushing it several different times, wanting this to be true).
It was not wet because the ceiling was leaking . (I know because I surveyed the area extremely carefully, desperately wanting this to be true).
It was not wet because it had just been cleaned (I know based on the status of the rest of the room and the low supply of TP....it would have been AWESOME if this had been true).
No, this was the kind of wet that occurs when somebody hovers high above a toilet seat to go rather than sitting down.
There was also a puddle on the floor, which I had originally thought must be (logically) from somebody’s wet shoes (you know, wet from rain or a spilled drink). It was only after discovering the, um, situation on the toilet seat that I realize that the two were likely linked (and that it wasn’t raining outside and there was no sign of wet on the floor anywhere other than right there…where my feet were…at that very moment).
I don’t know the person who did this and, for all I know, there was a “legitimate” reason, but, I was spiteful and the story of the anonymous Rude Public Restroom Person (RPRP) began to crystallize in my mind.
Let me tell you about RPRP.
RPRP is terrified of the germs of the general public and, due to that fear, does her best to avoid public toilets, which is a very real phobia for which I cannot judge.
On this particular night at the movies, RPRP had spent 2 ½ hours (perhaps seeing either “Lincoln” or “Zero Dark Thirty”) drinking a very large soda (from the incredibly cool touchscreen soda machine), and had no choice but to use a public toilet.
Since this particular situation is basically her worst nightmare, RPRP attempted to use said public toilet without coming into any contact with the actual toilet at all, which, admittedly, isn’t easy.
RPRP made a mess..but, more tellingly, RPRP also didn’t care, and didn’t even attempt to clean it up because that would require contact with the public toilet (which was now, by the way, 10000000000000 times germier than it was before)
RPRP walked away – without an ounce of guilt for what was left behind or for how it might affect the next person to come along.
Admittedly, had the next person to come along not been me, I probably wouldn’t have cared so much...but, you know, it was me.
Aaanndd…
I couldn’t stop myself.
While I was at it, and while I was still annoyed, I went ahead and put together a complete profile of RPRL: attitude, age, appearance, and approximately 10,000 other completely biased generalizations.
I won’t go into too much detail but, basically, RPRP is a compilation of the worst characteristics of every rude, self-centered, mean spirited, overly entitled person I have ever met – no redeeming qualities at all – not one – not even ½ of a redeeming quality.
Feeling really gross, and really angry with the irredeemably horrible person I had created in my mind, I did my best to feel better about the situation and walked back to my la-z-boy, more than ready to be whisked away to picturesque early 19th century France (where everything was much more civil…right?) to be lost in inspiration and song.
Well, as it turns out, there are many things about Les Mis that I had somehow missed in the many touring company performances I had seen between 1987 and 1997.
For one thing, early 19th century France wasn’t actually that civil (people sold their teeth for money – just yanked the suckers right out!).
Also, the story includes a number of important lessons: the triumph of the human spirit, love in the face of hate, justice in the face of injustice, and, possibly the greatest overarching theme (worked into pretty much every storyline…other than the love triangle):
forgiveness .
Javert chases Jean Valjean down for 15 years , completely unable to see beyond his past actions and the fact that he violated parole. He chases him to Montreuil-sur-Mer, he chases him to Paris, he chases him through the sewers of Paris (and, maybe it was just a result of my experience prior to the movie, but that sewer scene was a WHOLE lot more realistic* on the big screen).
*realistic = nauseating (perhaps some scenes are better left to stage lighting and the imagination)
And, still, Jean Valjean forgives him.
So, as I come to the end of my blog, I would like to bring everything to a positive conclusion and show you that I have matured since my teenage years. I want to show you that I can now see past the love triangle to the many truths in my favorite musical, and maybe even put those truths into practice in my own life.
After all, If Jean Valjean can forgive Javert for a life of torment, surely, surely (SURELY) I can forgive an anonymous woman who didn’t clean up after herself in an otherwise perfect public restroom in Arlington, Virginia, right?
...right?
…right?
Maybe, eventually, but I think I’m going to need
(and please humor me and sing this last line if you know it)
“One day more”.
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