An abnormal number of my blogs are about running: things that happen while running, people who I meet while running or thoughts that I have while running. (see 10/18/07, 11/9/07 or 1/27/09)
This leads me to believe I’m a rather one-dimensional person who is perhaps a little boring and may need more interests or a new hobby
…but then thinking about my faults stresses me out
…so I go for a run to de-stress
…and something funny happens or I meet a funny person or I have a funny thought
…so I write a blog about it
…Sigh.
(note: this is where you are supposed to say “Faith, don’t say things like that! You are a very interesting person with varied interests and an exciting and dimensional life.”)
Awwww, thanks!
So guess what my blog is about today? Yep, running (so stinking predictable).
Actually, now that I think about it, this isn’t so much of a blog as it is an announcement - a clarification - a public statement of explanation - to all runners or spectators at the 2009 Boston Marathon.
*It is specifically directed to everyone who may have seen me (5’4”ish, purple top, black shorts, goofy-looking crinkled forehead, bib #2853) at any point between mile 8 and mile 26 and particularly from the back.
The announcement/clarification/public statement of explanation:
It was gu – regardless of what it looked like, it was chocolate gu.
A little background information:
The grossness you see over the course of 26.2 miles-
Real marathoners (the really good marathoners - the kind who fly in from other countries because they might actually win the race) can be so dedicated to/focused on winning that things like personal hygiene are, shall we say, secondary. Things that the rest of us may take care of in private (by, perhaps, sacrificing a minute of our final clock time to step into one of the many port-a-johns conveniently located at various points along the course) simply happen right there, right then, mid-stride, while running down the middle of the street. They keep running.
Of course, this is really just heresay, as I’m generally a good distance behind those ridiculously, unbelievably, crazy-fast runners so I’ve never actually seen the nastiness first hand. However, it’s not always the superstar 4 minute mile runners who sacrifice their hygiene to the marathon gods- I once found myself running behind a woman who had unfortunately mis-judged her monthly schedule and was (also unfortunately) wearing white running tights. She kept running. Another time, I came upon a man who had gotten sick while running but didn’t stop along the side of the road to throw up (and the evidence was on his shirt).
The point is, when it comes to marathons it’s not completely out of the question to see things that aren’t pleasant because, no matter how unfortunate the circumstances and regardless of whether you are an elite runner or one of the many of us simply running for our personal best, nobody wants to stop. Once you have crossed that starting line, your only goal is crossing the finish line– that’s the spirit of the marathon.
Gu –
Gu is 100 calories of as much energy as you can possibly squeeze into a tiny 32 oz packet. It’s sort of a mix between icing and pudding and comes in various flavors (with names like Espresso Love and Chocolate Outrage), all attempting to hide the fact that you are eating it ONLY for the sake of keeping your body in motion. The first three marathons I ran were gu-less and I was sick for days afterwards with some sort of nasty mix of dehydration/lack of food thing. Basically, my body was mad at me for putting it through 26.2 miles of ridiculousness and not giving it any fuel along the way…and it’s NEVER good to piss off your body because payback is hell.
In the 7 marathons since, I have learned that 1/4th of a pack of gu at every even mile marker can do amazing things for your race (and can virtually guarantee not spending the following 24 hours with a migraine and your head in a toilet, which is a beautiful thing). The only problem with this wonderful plan is the juggling of gu packets and, in particular, the containment of the remaining gu once a new packet is open.
I’ve tried a few methods -
You can roll the top down and stick it back in your pocket – but it leaks all over your pocket.
You can hold it in your hand, trying to keep it squeezed closed – but it leaks all over your hand.
I thought I had found the perfect solution when I bought a little plastic squeeze container that clipped onto my shorts (holding up to 6 packets of gu!) – the gu made the bottle kind of heavy and, besides slowly pulling my shorts down over the course of the race, the bottle actually fell off a couple of times, skidding across the road.
If you want to see some really angry runners, just throw an object –such as, oh say, a little plastic bottle of gu - in their path while they are running shoulder to shoulder in the early stages of a race.
If you want to see those same runners even angrier, proceed to run after the object – it’s kind of like crossing 5 lanes of traffic on a crowded freeway. There is serious potential for a 10+ runner pile-up. It can get ugly.
So, after every race I make a little promise to myself to find, before the next race, a more efficient way to handle my gu dilemma. Unfortunately, in true Faith fashion, roughly 24 hours before every race I find myself without said “more efficient way to handle the gu dilemma”.
I finished my 3rd (and hardest) Boston last week feeling exhausted, incredibly happy and a little sticky as my hands were uncomfortably gu-covered (yep, I opted for the “hold it in my hand , trying to keep it squeezed closed” method for this race). Crossing the finish line I then proceeded though the sea of “awesome job!”s and “Congratulations!”s (a runner secret: the real reason everyone wants to qualify for that particular race is that the people of Boston make you feel like a freaking rock star every step of the way – but especially at the finish line). I felt really, really good and was maybe a little full of myself…ok, VERY full of myself (you know, the whole rock star thing).
It wasn’t until we got back to the hotel room that Dave saw the back of my leg and said something along the lines of “What the heck is on the back of your leg?”
It was chocolate gu (a lovely brown color) that had apparently dripped down the back of my leg at some point during the race and hardened into a crusty nastiness. It was definitely chocolate gu…but that’s not what it looked like (if you need explanation as to what I mean by “what it looked like” please see the above section entitled: “The grossness you see” and use your imagination).
To make matters worse, only 1 of my 3 gu packets had been chocolate and it was the first one of the day. So however the gu got on the back of my leg (and I’m still not completely sure how it did), it had been there since mile 8 at the very latest but possibly even earlier. That’s at least 18.2 miles of runners coming up behind me and spectators watching from the sidelines, who saw something brown and nasty-looking on the back of my leg…and probably thought the worst.
Back to the announcement:
If you were at the Boston Marathon last week, or if you know anyone who was at the Boston Marathon last week, or if you overhear somebody telling a story about last week when they were running/were watching the Boston Marathon and saw this disgusting runner who…
please, please, please help me set the record straight. IT WAS CHOCOLATE GU!
So much for being a rockstar.
This leads me to believe I’m a rather one-dimensional person who is perhaps a little boring and may need more interests or a new hobby
…but then thinking about my faults stresses me out
…so I go for a run to de-stress
…and something funny happens or I meet a funny person or I have a funny thought
…so I write a blog about it
…Sigh.
(note: this is where you are supposed to say “Faith, don’t say things like that! You are a very interesting person with varied interests and an exciting and dimensional life.”)
Awwww, thanks!
So guess what my blog is about today? Yep, running (so stinking predictable).
Actually, now that I think about it, this isn’t so much of a blog as it is an announcement - a clarification - a public statement of explanation - to all runners or spectators at the 2009 Boston Marathon.
*It is specifically directed to everyone who may have seen me (5’4”ish, purple top, black shorts, goofy-looking crinkled forehead, bib #2853) at any point between mile 8 and mile 26 and particularly from the back.
The announcement/clarification/public statement of explanation:
It was gu – regardless of what it looked like, it was chocolate gu.
A little background information:
The grossness you see over the course of 26.2 miles-
Real marathoners (the really good marathoners - the kind who fly in from other countries because they might actually win the race) can be so dedicated to/focused on winning that things like personal hygiene are, shall we say, secondary. Things that the rest of us may take care of in private (by, perhaps, sacrificing a minute of our final clock time to step into one of the many port-a-johns conveniently located at various points along the course) simply happen right there, right then, mid-stride, while running down the middle of the street. They keep running.
Of course, this is really just heresay, as I’m generally a good distance behind those ridiculously, unbelievably, crazy-fast runners so I’ve never actually seen the nastiness first hand. However, it’s not always the superstar 4 minute mile runners who sacrifice their hygiene to the marathon gods- I once found myself running behind a woman who had unfortunately mis-judged her monthly schedule and was (also unfortunately) wearing white running tights. She kept running. Another time, I came upon a man who had gotten sick while running but didn’t stop along the side of the road to throw up (and the evidence was on his shirt).
The point is, when it comes to marathons it’s not completely out of the question to see things that aren’t pleasant because, no matter how unfortunate the circumstances and regardless of whether you are an elite runner or one of the many of us simply running for our personal best, nobody wants to stop. Once you have crossed that starting line, your only goal is crossing the finish line– that’s the spirit of the marathon.
Gu –
Gu is 100 calories of as much energy as you can possibly squeeze into a tiny 32 oz packet. It’s sort of a mix between icing and pudding and comes in various flavors (with names like Espresso Love and Chocolate Outrage), all attempting to hide the fact that you are eating it ONLY for the sake of keeping your body in motion. The first three marathons I ran were gu-less and I was sick for days afterwards with some sort of nasty mix of dehydration/lack of food thing. Basically, my body was mad at me for putting it through 26.2 miles of ridiculousness and not giving it any fuel along the way…and it’s NEVER good to piss off your body because payback is hell.
In the 7 marathons since, I have learned that 1/4th of a pack of gu at every even mile marker can do amazing things for your race (and can virtually guarantee not spending the following 24 hours with a migraine and your head in a toilet, which is a beautiful thing). The only problem with this wonderful plan is the juggling of gu packets and, in particular, the containment of the remaining gu once a new packet is open.
I’ve tried a few methods -
You can roll the top down and stick it back in your pocket – but it leaks all over your pocket.
You can hold it in your hand, trying to keep it squeezed closed – but it leaks all over your hand.
I thought I had found the perfect solution when I bought a little plastic squeeze container that clipped onto my shorts (holding up to 6 packets of gu!) – the gu made the bottle kind of heavy and, besides slowly pulling my shorts down over the course of the race, the bottle actually fell off a couple of times, skidding across the road.
If you want to see some really angry runners, just throw an object –such as, oh say, a little plastic bottle of gu - in their path while they are running shoulder to shoulder in the early stages of a race.
If you want to see those same runners even angrier, proceed to run after the object – it’s kind of like crossing 5 lanes of traffic on a crowded freeway. There is serious potential for a 10+ runner pile-up. It can get ugly.
So, after every race I make a little promise to myself to find, before the next race, a more efficient way to handle my gu dilemma. Unfortunately, in true Faith fashion, roughly 24 hours before every race I find myself without said “more efficient way to handle the gu dilemma”.
I finished my 3rd (and hardest) Boston last week feeling exhausted, incredibly happy and a little sticky as my hands were uncomfortably gu-covered (yep, I opted for the “hold it in my hand , trying to keep it squeezed closed” method for this race). Crossing the finish line I then proceeded though the sea of “awesome job!”s and “Congratulations!”s (a runner secret: the real reason everyone wants to qualify for that particular race is that the people of Boston make you feel like a freaking rock star every step of the way – but especially at the finish line). I felt really, really good and was maybe a little full of myself…ok, VERY full of myself (you know, the whole rock star thing).
It wasn’t until we got back to the hotel room that Dave saw the back of my leg and said something along the lines of “What the heck is on the back of your leg?”
It was chocolate gu (a lovely brown color) that had apparently dripped down the back of my leg at some point during the race and hardened into a crusty nastiness. It was definitely chocolate gu…but that’s not what it looked like (if you need explanation as to what I mean by “what it looked like” please see the above section entitled: “The grossness you see” and use your imagination).
To make matters worse, only 1 of my 3 gu packets had been chocolate and it was the first one of the day. So however the gu got on the back of my leg (and I’m still not completely sure how it did), it had been there since mile 8 at the very latest but possibly even earlier. That’s at least 18.2 miles of runners coming up behind me and spectators watching from the sidelines, who saw something brown and nasty-looking on the back of my leg…and probably thought the worst.
Back to the announcement:
If you were at the Boston Marathon last week, or if you know anyone who was at the Boston Marathon last week, or if you overhear somebody telling a story about last week when they were running/were watching the Boston Marathon and saw this disgusting runner who…
please, please, please help me set the record straight. IT WAS CHOCOLATE GU!
So much for being a rockstar.
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