Recently I had to ask myself an important question - "Faith, are you a nice person?" For the most part, I try really, really hard to be a nice person (caring, polite, giving) and I think I carry it off...most of the time...some of the time....usually. The truth is, I'm kind of selfish, a little bit greedy and tend on the grouchy side, all of which get in the way of being nice.
Just a few examples:
*I cut people off...I admit it. I cut people off in traffic and slow them down only because I want to get where I'm going faster. Does this stop me from being annoyed with/ giving dirty looks to people who cut me off in similar situations? Heck no...it's a rude thing to do!
*I hate holding doors for people. Sure, I do it when required but I'm not happy about it and it takes a lot to smile when the other person says "thank you". In my own defense, I don't expect other people to hold doors for me and if you are ever in a position to hold the door for me and you don't I will completely understand...in fact, if you just let it close on me I will probably respect you more.
*I will take the last cookie or piece of candy when nobody is looking. Somebody has to eat it and it might as well be me but I don't do it when people can see me because that would be rude.
*I don't like talking to people in elevators. My office is in a building with a parking garage and it's not uncommon to meet people you know in the elevator in the morning. I take the stairs primarily in order to avoid morning conversation...in the past I've even hidden behind cars until people I know clear the area.
*Tipping is painful. It's not that I don't tip - in fact I tip pretty well - I just resent the fact that I have to do it. I completely understand that servers generally get paid really badly and that tipping is primarily how they make their money. I get it, but when I get my debit card receipt and see that tip line I get really greedy really fast and parting with that extra $1 or $2 is painful and, in my mind, completely unfair.
There are other examples but it's probably not in my best interest to continue listing my negative traits and attitudes for people who read my blog, most of whom are likely friends.
So, why have been thinking about being nice? Well, recently I did something and the guilt is still hovering, circling like the DCPD helicopter on a crime-ridden Friday night.
My friend Anna (her name has been changed to protect her identity) and I decided to meet up for a movie on a very rainy and unpleasant Saturday evening. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that it was a rainy and unpleasant Saturday evening (popular movie weather)and that we were going to a theater with very small seating areas, we proceeded to buy tickets for a movie starting in only 15 minutes and THEN decided to walk to the nearest CVS for soda and snacks to sneak in (oh come on...like you've never snuck in peanut M&Ms and a diet coke! :)). Needless to say, by the time we got back to the movie place and got to our movie, the only seats left in the tiny theater were in the front two rows. Annoyed, we parked ourselves in the 2nd row and sat there for a second. I'm not sure what Anna was thinking, but I was thoughtfully considering how unfair life was and how I didn't deserve such treatment.
Then - a thought! Our second choice movie was in a bigger theater, right next door, and didn't start for another 20 minutes! A recog mission verified that the other theater was still very open with lots of room for 2 interlopers who didn't want to sit too close to the screen for the movie they actually paid for. So, narrowly missing 2 theater workers (Phew!) we darted into the theater and attempted to hide our self satisfaction as we (quite naturally and unassumingly) walked up the stadium seating stairs to the perfect movie seats. Waiting an extra 20 minutes for the "2nd choice movie" to start was a minor price to pay for looking forward at the screen instead of straight up.
Everything was great until the theater noticeably starting growing more and more crowded. As yet another large group of people of walked through the doors with a whole 10 minutes left before showtime, Anna and I started to slump in our seats. We attempted to talk about other things but we were both visibly distracted by the fact that we seemed to have crashed a sold out show. What would happen when the final 2 people walked in and all of the seats were gone? Would there be an investigation? Would they bump up the lights and demand ticket stubs for examination? Would we be publicly called out in front of the whole theater for illegal theater jumping? I could already see the looks of disgust on the faces of my fellow moviegoers as we were ushered out of the theater. We even quietly discussed possible stories - "Gosh, movie usher, this is the movie we came to see - we must have accidentally gotten the wrong tickets." or maybe "We seem to have walked into the wrong theater by mistake - so sorry!"
Nothing seemed like a logical explanation - if it came down to only our excuses, we would be busted.
And that's just the fear of being found out, which is nothing compared to the guilt of knowing what we had done. I guiltily and deliberately dodged the eager glances of fellow movie-goers looking for seats "Excuse me, is that seat taken?", "I'm sorry to bother you, would you mind scooting over one so I can sit with, oh, it's taken, ok, never mind, thank you.", attempting, as best I could, to appear as though I was supposed to be there.
(On a side note, is it just me or is it kind of strange that people walk into a crowded theater, see people sitting in the floor rows and still walk up the stairs looking for empty seats?...I have never met a person who actually chooses to sit in the 4 front rows so I'm pretty sure if there are people sitting there, they've already explored all other options.)
Anyway, the guilt hit it's peak when an older couple came in and actually sat on the stairs, THE STAIRS, to avoid sitting in the front few rows. I should have offered my seat...did I? No, I did not.
As the lights dimmed, I knew Anna and I were in the clear - there would be no investigation and we would not get kicked out. I was actually drawn into the movie pretty quickly and forgot the whole issue (ah, the power of a good story). In the end, though, the lights came back up and the couple was still sitting there, on the stairs. As the man stood up and stretched his back, I silently asked his forgiveness for taking his seat.
There will be other rainy Saturday nights and other movies to see but I will never, never, never jump theaters again...I'm way to nice a person for that. :)
Just a few examples:
*I cut people off...I admit it. I cut people off in traffic and slow them down only because I want to get where I'm going faster. Does this stop me from being annoyed with/ giving dirty looks to people who cut me off in similar situations? Heck no...it's a rude thing to do!
*I hate holding doors for people. Sure, I do it when required but I'm not happy about it and it takes a lot to smile when the other person says "thank you". In my own defense, I don't expect other people to hold doors for me and if you are ever in a position to hold the door for me and you don't I will completely understand...in fact, if you just let it close on me I will probably respect you more.
*I will take the last cookie or piece of candy when nobody is looking. Somebody has to eat it and it might as well be me but I don't do it when people can see me because that would be rude.
*I don't like talking to people in elevators. My office is in a building with a parking garage and it's not uncommon to meet people you know in the elevator in the morning. I take the stairs primarily in order to avoid morning conversation...in the past I've even hidden behind cars until people I know clear the area.
*Tipping is painful. It's not that I don't tip - in fact I tip pretty well - I just resent the fact that I have to do it. I completely understand that servers generally get paid really badly and that tipping is primarily how they make their money. I get it, but when I get my debit card receipt and see that tip line I get really greedy really fast and parting with that extra $1 or $2 is painful and, in my mind, completely unfair.
There are other examples but it's probably not in my best interest to continue listing my negative traits and attitudes for people who read my blog, most of whom are likely friends.
So, why have been thinking about being nice? Well, recently I did something and the guilt is still hovering, circling like the DCPD helicopter on a crime-ridden Friday night.
My friend Anna (her name has been changed to protect her identity) and I decided to meet up for a movie on a very rainy and unpleasant Saturday evening. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that it was a rainy and unpleasant Saturday evening (popular movie weather)and that we were going to a theater with very small seating areas, we proceeded to buy tickets for a movie starting in only 15 minutes and THEN decided to walk to the nearest CVS for soda and snacks to sneak in (oh come on...like you've never snuck in peanut M&Ms and a diet coke! :)). Needless to say, by the time we got back to the movie place and got to our movie, the only seats left in the tiny theater were in the front two rows. Annoyed, we parked ourselves in the 2nd row and sat there for a second. I'm not sure what Anna was thinking, but I was thoughtfully considering how unfair life was and how I didn't deserve such treatment.
Then - a thought! Our second choice movie was in a bigger theater, right next door, and didn't start for another 20 minutes! A recog mission verified that the other theater was still very open with lots of room for 2 interlopers who didn't want to sit too close to the screen for the movie they actually paid for. So, narrowly missing 2 theater workers (Phew!) we darted into the theater and attempted to hide our self satisfaction as we (quite naturally and unassumingly) walked up the stadium seating stairs to the perfect movie seats. Waiting an extra 20 minutes for the "2nd choice movie" to start was a minor price to pay for looking forward at the screen instead of straight up.
Everything was great until the theater noticeably starting growing more and more crowded. As yet another large group of people of walked through the doors with a whole 10 minutes left before showtime, Anna and I started to slump in our seats. We attempted to talk about other things but we were both visibly distracted by the fact that we seemed to have crashed a sold out show. What would happen when the final 2 people walked in and all of the seats were gone? Would there be an investigation? Would they bump up the lights and demand ticket stubs for examination? Would we be publicly called out in front of the whole theater for illegal theater jumping? I could already see the looks of disgust on the faces of my fellow moviegoers as we were ushered out of the theater. We even quietly discussed possible stories - "Gosh, movie usher, this is the movie we came to see - we must have accidentally gotten the wrong tickets." or maybe "We seem to have walked into the wrong theater by mistake - so sorry!"
Nothing seemed like a logical explanation - if it came down to only our excuses, we would be busted.
And that's just the fear of being found out, which is nothing compared to the guilt of knowing what we had done. I guiltily and deliberately dodged the eager glances of fellow movie-goers looking for seats "Excuse me, is that seat taken?", "I'm sorry to bother you, would you mind scooting over one so I can sit with, oh, it's taken, ok, never mind, thank you.", attempting, as best I could, to appear as though I was supposed to be there.
(On a side note, is it just me or is it kind of strange that people walk into a crowded theater, see people sitting in the floor rows and still walk up the stairs looking for empty seats?...I have never met a person who actually chooses to sit in the 4 front rows so I'm pretty sure if there are people sitting there, they've already explored all other options.)
Anyway, the guilt hit it's peak when an older couple came in and actually sat on the stairs, THE STAIRS, to avoid sitting in the front few rows. I should have offered my seat...did I? No, I did not.
As the lights dimmed, I knew Anna and I were in the clear - there would be no investigation and we would not get kicked out. I was actually drawn into the movie pretty quickly and forgot the whole issue (ah, the power of a good story). In the end, though, the lights came back up and the couple was still sitting there, on the stairs. As the man stood up and stretched his back, I silently asked his forgiveness for taking his seat.
There will be other rainy Saturday nights and other movies to see but I will never, never, never jump theaters again...I'm way to nice a person for that. :)
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