I found myself in a very uncomfortable position recently - stuck in the middle of an argument between 2 people who both happened to be having an extremely bad day.
It was a rainy, wet, chilly night in Arlington, Virginia. There was a random neighborhood parade going on, blocking the major road and making everybody, in general, cranky (very un-parade like). After a really hard yoga class I just wanted to get home to my cozy apartment, eat dinner, and be my peaceful yogi self....except that I had no food.
Hmmm...dilemma, I could either drive out of my way (in the midst of the parade-related backup) to go to Safeway OR I could walk 2 blocks to Whole Foods. I had no choice...fate (well, ok, convenience) led me to the high-end, kinda snooty (come on, you know it's true), organic-friendly Whole Foods Market.
After wandering aimlessly through the all natural soaps, pesticide-free fruits and vegetables, and $30 cheeses, I made my way (with my small fortune-worth of groceries) to the checkout where I was relieved to find that I had only 5 items and could use the 8 items or fewer express lane. Yay!
In line, I found myself wedged between two very typical DC-ish types: A) the early 20-ish, young professional, "I just came from a day on Capital Hill followed by an hour at the gym and am stopping at Whole Foods to get my power bar" kinda girl and B) the 40-50 year old, professional, single, "I take myself very seriously and don't appreciate people wasting my very important time" type of man. As the cashier was ringing up Powerbar Girl's last couple of items and I was convincing myself that I didn't need to buy all natural chocolate-chip cookies, Mr. Important stepped around me, tapped the girl on the shoulder and said (in an extremely condescending tone) "Excuse me, miss, but did you notice the sign that says '8 items or fewer'?" Powerbar girl kind of laughed and ignored him but he persisted..."It looks as though you have 10 items".
Ok, did she have more than 8 items? Yes, she did. How do I know this? Because I had counted them too and was, ok admittedly, a little annoyed. That said, would I ever go out of my way to question a person over 2 items? Um, no, probably not. Being my non-confrontational self, I had taken the situation as a 10-second loss and distracted myself with the cookies. Saying something just doesn't seem worth the effort. At this point in the interaction I was definitely on Powerbar Girl's side – her thoughtlessness seemed less obnoxious than Mr. Important's eagerness to point it out.
Then…
"I can't believe you are making such a big deal out of this…what a jerk….it's 2 items and it's not going to make that much of a difference"…and thus began 5 minute tirade on what an #%#)@*$ Mr. Important was for pointing out the fact that she had more items than were technically allowed in that particular line.
Ok, I just switched sides in the argument...while I would never go out of my way to point out that somebody had too many items for said line I also would never attempt to ardently (and rather rudely) defend the fact that I deserve to be in the 8 item line when I clearly have 10 items. Plus, in the time it took her to yell at him, all 10 people in the express line could have been out the door.
So it continued:
"Has anybody ever told you to read and obey rules?" (is it necessary to talk to her like she's a 5 year old?)
"Has anybody ever told you what a ^%*&$) you are?" (is yelling at him really going to help the situation?)
Feeling very much in the middle, I just stared at my tangerines feeling completely ambivalent and unable to pick a side - I can honestly say I disliked them both equally.
By the time Powerbar Girl left in a huff and Mr. Important had fully spoken his mind, I had decided that after the stress I had been through I deserved/ needed the cookies.
Don't worry, though, I was still under 8 items. J
It was a rainy, wet, chilly night in Arlington, Virginia. There was a random neighborhood parade going on, blocking the major road and making everybody, in general, cranky (very un-parade like). After a really hard yoga class I just wanted to get home to my cozy apartment, eat dinner, and be my peaceful yogi self....except that I had no food.
Hmmm...dilemma, I could either drive out of my way (in the midst of the parade-related backup) to go to Safeway OR I could walk 2 blocks to Whole Foods. I had no choice...fate (well, ok, convenience) led me to the high-end, kinda snooty (come on, you know it's true), organic-friendly Whole Foods Market.
After wandering aimlessly through the all natural soaps, pesticide-free fruits and vegetables, and $30 cheeses, I made my way (with my small fortune-worth of groceries) to the checkout where I was relieved to find that I had only 5 items and could use the 8 items or fewer express lane. Yay!
In line, I found myself wedged between two very typical DC-ish types: A) the early 20-ish, young professional, "I just came from a day on Capital Hill followed by an hour at the gym and am stopping at Whole Foods to get my power bar" kinda girl and B) the 40-50 year old, professional, single, "I take myself very seriously and don't appreciate people wasting my very important time" type of man. As the cashier was ringing up Powerbar Girl's last couple of items and I was convincing myself that I didn't need to buy all natural chocolate-chip cookies, Mr. Important stepped around me, tapped the girl on the shoulder and said (in an extremely condescending tone) "Excuse me, miss, but did you notice the sign that says '8 items or fewer'?" Powerbar girl kind of laughed and ignored him but he persisted..."It looks as though you have 10 items".
Ok, did she have more than 8 items? Yes, she did. How do I know this? Because I had counted them too and was, ok admittedly, a little annoyed. That said, would I ever go out of my way to question a person over 2 items? Um, no, probably not. Being my non-confrontational self, I had taken the situation as a 10-second loss and distracted myself with the cookies. Saying something just doesn't seem worth the effort. At this point in the interaction I was definitely on Powerbar Girl's side – her thoughtlessness seemed less obnoxious than Mr. Important's eagerness to point it out.
Then…
"I can't believe you are making such a big deal out of this…what a jerk….it's 2 items and it's not going to make that much of a difference"…and thus began 5 minute tirade on what an #%#)@*$ Mr. Important was for pointing out the fact that she had more items than were technically allowed in that particular line.
Ok, I just switched sides in the argument...while I would never go out of my way to point out that somebody had too many items for said line I also would never attempt to ardently (and rather rudely) defend the fact that I deserve to be in the 8 item line when I clearly have 10 items. Plus, in the time it took her to yell at him, all 10 people in the express line could have been out the door.
So it continued:
"Has anybody ever told you to read and obey rules?" (is it necessary to talk to her like she's a 5 year old?)
"Has anybody ever told you what a ^%*&$) you are?" (is yelling at him really going to help the situation?)
Feeling very much in the middle, I just stared at my tangerines feeling completely ambivalent and unable to pick a side - I can honestly say I disliked them both equally.
By the time Powerbar Girl left in a huff and Mr. Important had fully spoken his mind, I had decided that after the stress I had been through I deserved/ needed the cookies.
Don't worry, though, I was still under 8 items. J
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